Since I am giving up social media for Lent this year, and Lent starts on March 1, 2017 though Easter on April 16th, I'd like to share some thoughts with today's young women in pre-celebration of Women's History Month. The month of March is when we highlight the numerous contributions of women in history and in today's society. As a mother of two adult daughters, I've tried to lead by example to show them what education, goals, hard work, tenacity, prayer, and faith will get you. So, I just want to share some notes now, and maybe one young woman may be inspired by these words to fulfill God's Purpose for her life.
1. It is never too early or too late to set some goals. Each of us has one or more God-given talents that makes us unique. What drives you? What motivates you? What are you passionate about? Figure out what careers best support your talents. That way, you can monetize your passion and enjoy your career instead of living a lack luster life in a job or multiple jobs that you hate. Don't just exist - LIVE. You could be the next Shirley Ann Jackson, Angela Davis, or Dr. Mae C. Jemison. Or maybe you are the next Beyoncé, Tyra Banks or Viola Davis? You won't know until you establish some goals and plan for your own success. Aspire to be great, and work towards your goals. Forget your past, triumph over your ADHD, dyslexia, or child abuse. Whatever makes you feel worthless and weak. Forget your prior mistakes and your upbringing. Sometimes, the most successful women have become so against all odds. You are capable, too.
2. After setting your goals, establish a timeline and steps for completing your goals. Will you need training or additional education? Will you need a bachelor's degree, master's degree and/or a doctorate? Education is the difference in my life! Once you receive your degree(s), that sense of accomplishment is so gratifying, and no one can take that away. Maybe, however, your career choice requires experience instead? Study others who were and are successful. How did they do it? How did they gain experience? Establish a routine and a plan for your success. Network. Be in the right place. Perfect your craft. Focus. Don't be so easily distracted with nonsense. Can't find a paid job using your creative talent? Volunteer until your services are in demand. Be ready and prepared when opportunity knocks. Then, once you make it, don't forget to get involved in community service. You are blessed to be a blessing to others. Set new goals as you accomplish your old goals. Never be stagnant.
3. Don't look for shortcuts and "hook-ups" all the time. Nothing replaces hard work, dedication and determination. Always do research. Things change faster than we realize. Stay on your grind. Hook-ups won't keep you. I'm not saying don't utilize the benefits and favor you have; on the contrary, I'm saying build on them, and don't cheat yourself. Of course, sometimes Favor, who you know, who is part of your family, and other advantages that everyone doesn't have may make things easier for you, but ultimately, YOUR talent, YOUR skill, YOUR tenacity, and YOUR effort will sustain you. Who you know may help you get into a certain position or space, but that won't keep you there. Shortcuts and hook-ups will ultimately become a detriment if you solely rely on that, but don't have the drive, ability and skills to maintain yourself in any position that you get.
4. Believe in yourself! There are so many things and people in life that can cause us to have low self-esteem! Negative people are everywhere. They are unhappy with their own lives and think nothing about telling you you're ugly, too pretty, fat, skinny, too dumb, too dark skinned, too light skinned, too poor, from a bad neighborhood, too country, too proper, etc , etc. You name it! Someone will always be there to try to knock you down, even if they are doing so subconsciously. Sometimes those naysayers are family, like a parent, sibling, Aunt, Uncle or Cousin. Sometimes, it could a friend telling you that your goals are stupid or unrealistic. It could be a friend that your started off with who has lagged behind for one reason or another. Friends become haters sometimes. Time reveals all truths. So does success. Please know that you have the independent ability to control your own destiny. God created you for a Divine Purpose. You are so unique and so special. You can do all things!
5. Don't base your life on some man, especially if you are unmarried. At this point in my life, I've seen so many young women miss or delay their Purpose running behind some man who is not even serious about them anyway. Sometimes, you are unevenly yoked with the man in your life. Surely, young women today don't have to guess about if a guy is serious about them. Listen to what they say in music about women. Some of that disrespect is not just entertainment. Some of it is true. If you are in school, whether it's high school, college or even graduate school, please don't let some guy get you to quit and give up on your dreams. Now, I'm aware that some women support their husband to greatness, but that's a husband and your marriage is supposed to be a partnership. But don't give a boyfriend, or even a guy that's someone else's man so much control over your life.
6. Don't aspire to be a "baby mama", " groupie" or "gold-digger". I've heard it called " bum chick" as well. Okay, this may hit a nerve, but there are young women who may be beautiful physically, but something is not quite right mentally or emotionally for various reasons. These type of women seek to meet and have a baby by a professional athlete, recording artist, actor, etc. They wake up in the morning, hit the gym like they are training for a decathlon, research where these guys are going to be, show up looking flawless, meet these guys, end up in their hotel room or wherever, lie about being on birth control, and risk their lives having unprotected sex with these men, who are willing to accommodate them. Then, they have a baby and want to be a stay at home mom, like they were married. I'm not saying there is something wrong with meeting a man who is wealthy or rich - it just doesn't need to be a career goal, aspiration or sole purpose for waking up each morning. What makes you uniquely you? Establish something that you do for a living, besides having a baby out of wedlock by the right " one". God has a much higher, and much more fulfilling purpose for your life.
7. Surround yourself with positive people. Family and friends that celebrate your successes are best. And you celebrate them as well. Encourage each other. Your circle will be smaller, but better. Let's stop being jealous of each other. Let's stop tearing each other down. Let's stop acting like less than a lady, especially in public. As women, we have historically suffered from the inequities of society. In 2017, we are paid less and expected to do more. We still are subjected to harassment in our workplace and in our careers, both sexual harassment and otherwise. We still are not taken seriously in business if we are too pretty. We still are called derogatory words if we are too good at our job, especially in a male-dominated field. Let's not tear each other down on top of all the roadblocks that society has in store for us, too.
8. Once you have children, model the type of woman and mother that you want your daughters to be. Model the type of woman your son will seek to marry. If you are single, separated or divorced, do not keep your children away from their father, unless there is a legitimate legal reason to do so. Co-parent with Dad even if you really can't stand him. I know that can be hard, but we are so strong. There's nothing we cannot accomplish. The Dad may have been a jerk as a mate, but just fine as a father. Kids need both parents and both sides of their extended families. Do what's right by your children.
In closing! life is short, but what you do with yours could affect not only your children, but also generations to come. Your specific life might just be bigger than just YOU. Your triumphs over adversity might bring someone else out of darkness and despair. Don't take yourself for granted.
As we celebrate phenomenal women during t he month of March, let's continue to work on our own phenomenal selves. During this upcoming month and everyday, we can make contributions that will make a difference to many or just to one another. There is no limit to what we women can do or the power that we hold when we plan and work towards our own success! Live life victoriously, and remember, it 's never too late to start or start over again!
